Strange thing happen to me…
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| Strange thing happen to me this weekend as I was walking to a local bar for happy hour. Before I got a chance to walk in I heard someone call out my entire name “Steve Larson?”, there was a bit of a question to the way he said it. So I simple replies “yes, do I know you?” It turned out to be the the GM of Nikki’s. Seems he Goggled Nikki’s and New Years Eve and my blog popped up. As he went on and said thanks for coming in for the event, and how he thought what I wrote was funny —- so he showed the whole staff. Then went on and said that Margeau was working tonight. meanwhile I kept trying to think — what the hell did I write about, and more important, Why are people actually reading this? It’s a simple personal journal-list ic type of blog for me to write my personal thoughts in. Eventually I focused back on to the conversation with Luke. He kept asking me if I was a photographer, and for some reason I had a tough time answering that because I really do not think of myself as a photographer. I am more an artist that just happens to take pictures and then can really manipulate them. Back to the conversation, he wanted to hire me to take pictures of his bar which like the great businessman I am I said — Aaahhhhh okay I guess, and down played the price. Yes, I am a marketing genius! As I kid around I am thinking — I am an artist. I love to create. If I could simply create without getting paid – I would probably do it. But I can’t – I need to make rent, buy my toys and pay my bar tabs. Now if someone gives me a direction in which they want something. Then leaves me alone – I will usually get totally into the project and will create a piece of art instead of just a picture. But if someone stands over my shoulder they’re only going to get what they dictate — and no creativity comes out because my anxieties all come out, and I feel completely uncomfortable. |
| Then the next day another strange thing happen to me on my way to pick up my car from being service. I ran into a really cool Venice Beach street performer, and as we started talking he asked if I was a photographer and that he needed new promo shots. In my head I am thinking — Okay this is the second person to ask me if I am a photographer in two days. I handled this one a little better and said yes. I am not sure I will get the gig, but I really need to figure something out to better sell myself. |
| I need someone like Steve Jobs to promote me, someone with charisma to go out and sell me — as I sit alone in my room and simply create. Someone that can speak for me so I don’t sound like the babbling fool I can be in public. |
| I did have a fantasy moment on the way home last night where I thought about how nice it would be to travel – a little – then sell off my work. I think that would work better for me. Work my ass off for a month or more on a project then take a week or more off and relax till the next big project brews up. Instead of working the 9 to 5 crap five days a week. The only thing is I am so programmed into that mentality I am not sure I can break it. My encoding tells me You WORK at a job you do not enjoy to make money to create and work on things you love and do enjoy. Something is definitely wrong with that statement. But how do you rewrite the encoding, and more important how do you take that first leap. |
| Related story: New Year’s Day |
